When our president offered to sit down and work the Gates controversy out over a beer, it got us to thinking - what other conflicts would have been better resolved through this technique?
10 Conflicts Which Could Have Been Resolved Better With Beer:
10. The Smurfs vs. Gargamel
Angry little blue men getting drunk with an evil wizard - what could go wrong?
9. Cutoffs vs. Briefs
There's no beer in this photograph, but those sure are some angry underpants.
8. World War I
"If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children. By getting them drunk." ~ Mahatma Gandhi on the horrors of World War One. This quote has been slightly edited to fit this context.
7. Hatfields vs. Mccoys
What could be more southern than stoppin' the feudin' for a spell to have a nice tall bottle of sasparilla? Or, in this case, Miller?
6. Tom vs. Jerry
Tom and Jerry could have learned a lot from each other if they had just stopped to sip a couple of Heinekens and talk about their mutual loathing of dogs and vacuum cleaners.
5. The Sharks vs. The Jets
Street violence is a problem that could obviously be resolved with beer. If the soccer riots in Britain have taught us anything, it is that beer is a pacifier of the masses and a problem solving cure-all for dissent among nicely-manicured well-choreographed teens.
4. David Lee Roth vs. Sammy Hagar
Alright - the argument could definitely be made that this is a conflict that was, in fact, resolved with beer. Draw your own conclusions - we play everything.
3. Burt vs. Loni
Nothing says I love you like a keg. Let the healing begin.
2. He-Man vs. Skeletor
Skeletor was a pretty uptight guy. Maybe with a couble brews to loosen him up, he might have been less covetous of Prince Adam's throne and everyone could have popped down the street to the Regal Beagle to meet up with She-Ra and the girls for some laughs and who knows what else?
1. Democrats vs. Republicans
One thing that doesn't get combined on television enough is alcohol and strongly opposed political viewpoints. This might make the 3 year long election process a little easier to watch - every time the candidates get a new debate question they have to chug a beer. We could decide the entire vice-presidency around keg-stand ability. This idea has legs, people! Stand up and be counted!